​​Donald Trump, the controversial President of the United States, has issued executive orders to the military and NASA to immediately utilize the entirety of the US Nuclear Arsenal to set fire to the sun.

“All the so-called climate change fanatics have caused the sun’s power to go down.” The SCROTUS explained. “We need to bring it back up or the world will freeze and we will all die just like the dinosaurs did. The US is dedicated to doing this as our gift to the world.”
On being told that the feat was physically impossible he retorted that he had seen it on Fox news. On closer inspection it was discovered that the news piece in question was actually an episode of the children’s show Phineas and Ferb where a character does indeed attempt to set fire to the sun.

DISCLAIMER: Everything stated in the article is the God’s honest truth. Anyone who tells you different is lying to you. It’s all a cover-up. It’s yuge!

ACTUAL DISCLAIMER: I sincerely hope you have the braincells to realise this is fake but still more likely to be true than the stuff Trump and his ilk have been spouting over the past couple of weeks.

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